Doppelgangers Need Love Too
by VampireSavior
Summary: What happens when Dante summons a doppelganger who refuses to leave? And to top it off, his doppelganger calls him 'mommy' and acts like a hyperactive 3 year old. What misadventures will unravel when these two are put together?
1. Chapter 1

Dante, the well known demon hunter, had finally met his match. To his own clone, as one would put. It was a show down between them. Locked down, Dante was already losing his temper wanting to end this little battle. He had better things to do than fight a wannabe clone of himself; like eat pizza, drink beer, you know? But here he was fighting a mirror version of himself. 

"Okay that's it!" Dante exclaimed. "I am ending this once and for all don't hate me okay?" He was ready to give the last blow to end this.

"WAIT!" said his clone.

Dante stopped and replied, "What is it now? It's already too late for apologies."

"But mommy! I love you!" He said back to him in a childish tone of voice.

"What the hell?" Dante had a dumbfounded look on his face as his clone proceeded to hug him.

"You summoned me so that means YOUR MY MOMMY! I have been suppressed for so LONG! I am your doppelganger! A very underappreciated one! You're having fun without me!!" the doppelganger pouted as he said this, while Dante was just thinking of this as a joke. A very bad one.

"Y-your kidding me, right? This is some kind of a twisted joke isn't it?" Dante gave an aggravated look to his doppelganger. "Stop CALLING ME MOMMY DO I LOOK LIKE A WOMAN TO YOU?!"

"Maybe...You can call me Donte!" He yelled back.

Dante was getting annoyed, but he knew that Donte could be useful in battles. He also knew Donte was going to annoy the hell out of him.

"So, so, so you going to take me with you!? Huh! Huh! Huh?!" Donte proceeded to yell and jump in the air like a hyper-active kid. "Ohh! Shinny swords!" He began poking at Dante's rebellion now.

"Okay, I'm taking you with me, but can you please shut up?!" Dante asked.

"You're so mean to me, mommy.." Donte whined as he followed Dante into the depth of night.


	2. Chapter 2

The music kept banging in the background as Donte tried to stay asleep. He mumbled as he got kicked out of his bed by Dante. 

"Yo, get up!" Dante said firmly. "We've got a job to do." Dante took a bite from his pizza. Donte rubbed his eyes and stretched.

"Meow..."

Dante just couldn't believe that his doppelganger could be such a child, but a lot of wierd stuff was always happening to him; although this was the wierdest thing that had ever happened to Dante so far... A whiny, pouty, childish look alike was the wierdest out of everything. The only reason why he kept him around was because he doesn't want him running around ruining his badass reputation. He could summon him and de-summon him, but the problem with de-summoning him was that he ended up talking inside of his head, which aggravated Dante even more.

"What the hell is taking you so long?" Dante asked Donte.

Donte didn't want to go anywhere; he wanted to sleep the day away. He tried to make an excuse.

"I AM WAITING FOR A GIRL!" Donte yelled.

"Doppelgangers don't get any action..." Dante remarked, staring at his clone.

"We do to..."

"You guys don't. You're doppelgangers..."

"Where do you think we go when you de-summon us? YA WE GET LAID!"

"Noo...you don't. YOU go to your mom's house..."

"Aww... now I miss my mommmy...wait... YOUR MY MOMMY!"

"For the love of mod." Dante rubbed his temples." DO I HAVE BOOBS?!"

"Yes!" replied Donte. He seemed to liked making Dante mad. "OH DOOR DOOR DOOR!"

Donte started heading towards the door, fascinated with the marks of the bullet holes in them. Donte was amazed easily and was also easily distracted- even in battles when Dante need him the most. Donte started shooting at the walls for some reason, probably to try and get the important items before they defeated all their enemys.

"OPEN THE DOOR DANTE OPEN OPEN OPEN THE DOOR!!come on whooo! open now! Please! I'll be nice! Please! Meow! Oh! It does tricks!"

Dante turned up the music louder, trying to ingore Donte so he could remember the mission. He needed the money if he wanted to stay in his apartment, but having Donte around was a bit of a nuisance. Dante couldn't even be around the women in peace without having to drag Donte out of the bar in humiliation. His reputation was at stake, but who couldn't help but laugh at Donte's antics? It was pretty amusing.

"Shut up."

"Gasp! You telling me to shut up? No justice I tell you! I am so unloved around here! You're so mean mommy!"

"Stop. Calling. Me. MOMMY!"

"Geeze you don't have to yell! Oh how about daddy!? YA, DADDY!"

Dante sighed in defeat. He had to say it wasn't like him to get mad like this. Yeah, he gets mad- it's only normal, but he seemed to make Dante look like a grump.

He opened the door and Donte started running ahead in delight: jumping on trash cans, climbing random walls, and looking at random doors.

"Where are we going!?!? Donte asked."

" We are going to the bar. You're driving.." Dante replied. He was getting tired.

"NO NEVER I SHALL NEVER DRIVE! I'M NOT LEGAL YET!"

"Yes you are."

Donte gasped. "THERE'S NO JUSTICE IN HERE! If you die it's not my fault.."

"Fine we're walking!!!!..damnit.."

"YAYYY!!!"

"PAY ATTETION! DAMN IT!"

"But the shiny stuff! Its so shiny! I WANT IT! I WANT IT! I WANT IT!" Donte yelled as he ran around and pointed at the jewels on the doors.


	3. Chapter 3

Donte was contently talking to someone who had randomly appeared, yet again distracted. But this time by a girl. Her name was Carina. Dante just wanted to leave already. 

"Hey, you're so mean Carina! I want the shiny door knob!"

"Oh come on, I love you more then tacos! Give me some credit!" she replied, annoyed with the doppelganger.

They weren't going to see her anymore after this. The reason was because it was some random point of the day in some random city. They were looking for Dante's brother Vergil. Carina seemed to have seen Vergil around there. Why they were looking for Vergil, Donte didn't know. But his curiosity was killing him as he was dragged off by Dante. They were headed to where Carina told Dante his long lost brother would be.

Carina muttered under her breath, "How come the hot mofo's are always taken...? Oh my god...he is having incest with his twin!" Carina glanced at the door. People just assumed they were twins but Carina was the first to think Dante and Donte were a pair. She probably wouldn't be the last.

It was getting dark and finally Dante found Vergil.

"Well well if it isn't my dear brother..."

"I am overjoyed in seeing you Dante..." Vergil said unenthusiasticly.

"OH MY GOD DADDY HAS A TWIN SISTER!" Donte yelled in amazement. He was currently in front of Vergil poking his face.

"Who the hell are you?" Vergil's eye twitched. He never seen Donte and he already wanted to cut him in half as much as he wanted to gut Dante.

"So if your daddy's sister that means you're my aunt! Oh! Shiny! Mine!" Donte snatched the necklace Vergil had.

"GIVE THAT BACK!"

"It's mine.." Donte glared and hugged Vergil's necklace possesively. "Mine I tell you!"

"Dante who the hell is this?!"

"Well he's my doppelganger even though I hate to admit it... Anyways let's get this fight over with!"

"As you wish!" Vergil grabbed back his necklace.

Dante and his brother fought an intense battle. Raindrops splattered on the ground. Blood was spilt from both brothers. Their swords clashed while Donte watched wide eyed.

"Ohh... Looks like they're having fun...I will just stand here. Ya! Go daddy!"

Moments later, Dante was stabbed in the stomache by his brother Vergil.

"DADDYYY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Donte yelled as his "daddy" fell to his knees.

Vergil started walking off with Dante's necklace in hand. Dante tried to attack Vergil but he blocked it. "I see a devil in you has awoken as well. No matter."

Donte, who watched in the background, was disgusted at how Dante's hand went through Vergil's sword.

"Eww... that's gross! It looks like it hurts!! Owies!!!"

Vergil was afraid that Donte's stupidity was contagious, but he decided to just leave Dante there and jumped off the cliff. Dante was weak and tired. He bent over in pain on the ground.

"Daddy?! Pokies poke poke..." Donte started poking the unconcious Dante."Aww poor daddy, he got like stabbed one hundred times, and has no luck with women, like Lady. Lady shot him. Aww poor him... he needs a hug...when he is bleeding less and is awake, I'll hug him. Ya, I am gonna hug daddy later!"


End file.
